Have you ever told yourself: “I should be able to do this," after struggling to complete a task?
People with ADHD often find themselves in this situation, comparing themselves to “neuro-typical” people. The truth is, if something were easy to do, we would have done it already!
So when it comes to asking for help, why do those of us with ADHD hesitate?
Let's start with the name: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Did you catch the word “deficit?” No one wants to be described by the word “deficit."
As psychiatrist Ned Hallowell states, “It is not that people with ADHD don’t have attention, but rather where their attention is going.” We can hyperfocus and do some things faster than anyone we know! Nevertheless, we convince ourselves that we are unequal, making it more difficult to ask for help.
Did you know that there is a movement to get the title of ADHD changed to VAST, or Variable Attention Stimulus Trait?
What we struggle with is not visible. In other words, the brain doesn’t have a wheelchair! We struggle with a disorder that is real, genetically related and neurologically based. The struggles we have are cognitive and impact every area of life.
We are unsure of the way forward. What do I do next? Those who are diagnosed in childhood have a different journey than those of us diagnosed later in life. Those diagnosed in childhood might have negative memories of school and/or medication. Those diagnosed later in life may wonder what their life could have looked like had they known and gotten support for their ADHD!
Fear that a provider may not “get it.” A provider might question the possibility of ADHD if a person is bright and is successful at their job or in school. A child could do well in school and still struggle to sit still and pay attention. An adult might do well on the job but struggle terribly on the home front to keep meals on the table, etc.
If you are concerned about finding a sympathetic provider, check out CHADD, ADDA, ACO and ADDitudemag.org to find providers in your area who understand life with ADHD.
It seems “normal” for us. There are adults who have ADHD that get diagnosed after their children do. Upon hearing the challenges their kids have, they may think, “well isn’t that normal?” No, it’s not! Most us have worked hard, but now it’s time to work smart!
We feel ashamed by perceived failures. We do what we do until we find a better way. People with ADHD will get over the finish line as others do, however we may have to find a different way and it may take a little bit longer.
Understanding what gets in the way for you can create the awareness you need to move forward!
Schedule a free consultation today to get the support you need to move forward!
“Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know until you learned it.”
-Maya Angelou
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